


Gunmetal and Sunflowers

by DumbassEntity



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, okay but Felix is baby, why the fuck am i so invested in this stupid NPC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23486413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumbassEntity/pseuds/DumbassEntity
Summary: How could anyone be so frustratingly contradictory? How could a boy who paints sunflowers on his wall turn around and be a ruthless killer? And why did Felix find both so hot?ie. Felix catches feelings and does all he can to keep them inside.
Relationships: Male Captain/Felix Millstone, The Captain/Felix Millstone
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

Captain Jesse Hawthorne was an interesting case. He was a feared spacer who had legendary aim, but he was also a five foot six blonde kid with freckles that barely looked older than eighteen. It took a second to realize who you were dealing with. He wasn’t a gunslinger who showed off with fancy pistols and tricks. No, he would sit back, wait, and take deadly aim from a distance. The few who knew him personally would describe him as a soul who did no harm, but took no shit. Among these friends was Felix Millstone, a loyal crew member and rebel without a cause. He was fond of his captain but afraid to admit it. There was something fascinating about a person who could switch between a calculated killer and a boy who cried for his friends. 

They had met in the docking bay of the ground breaker. Felix had gotten in trouble for some mild assault and he saw the captain go by. He was captured by how he held himself. He looked almost like he was trying to slouch. The other thing that fascinated him was that he had a large rifle on his back. It was strange to see a cherubic figure carrying such a weapon.

At the time he shook it off as a curiosity. Of course, it was an all consuming curiosity that drew him closer to the captain, ultimately leading him to ask for a position in his crew, but a simple curiosity nonetheless.

When he got the position on the crew he found it hard to avoid his fascination. On missions he got a front row seat to see the devastation he wreaked and the good he created. He got to watch him calculate shots and console friends. It did nothing to calm his emotions that he was beginning to realize were more than a passing curiosity.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix goes to Jesse's room in a bout of insomnia and finds something beautiful

One night when he was wracked by Insomnia and couldn’t get himself to sleep he found himself knocking at Jesse’s door. To his surprise, it opened and he found the captain with paint on his hands. He explained that he was painting sunflowers on his walls. Sure enough a dozen huge sunflowers were plastered along the metal walls.

“It’s the thing I miss most about earth” he explained “This place is beautiful, but so different. So foreign. Nothing feels familiar. It's all some kind of twisted up. I miss the plants I know and recognize. I miss blue skies and green fields. I miss climbing oak trees. I miss waking up at home.”

“I suppose that's the good thing about being an orphan,” Felix shrugged, “you don’t have a home to miss.”

Jesse turned to Felix.

“You have a home now. You have us.” he said.

Felix blushed a bit and looked back at the sunflowers on the wall.

“I had no idea you were a painter.” He said.

“Yeah. I was good at a lot of things back on earth. I was a real pride of the town. I was going to go places. I’m sure halcyon isn’t what they expected.”

“So you’re some kind of super gifted kid huh?”

“Yeah, screwed me over in the long run though.”

“Why?”

“Well for one it landed me here.”

“It can't be that bad.”

Jesse stared at Felix for a few moments. 

“No. It’s not. It just has its problems.”

“Problems that you’re going to fix.”

“I’ll try'' Jesse said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is still pining

Felix couldn’t shake his fascination. He wanted to be near him all the time. He wanted to watch him work and listen to him talk. He was surviving on stolen glances and wistful daydreams. It didn’t help that Jesse kept picking him every mission. He was always on the crew. He always had a front row seat to the captain. He got to watch his cold calculations. It was almost like he wanted him there, but it was impossible to tell what he really thought.

He couldn’t help staring at the curve of his neck, or the way his hands worked. He had to stop himself from tracing the freckles along his cheek. Beyond the cute smiles and fluffy hair, Jesse felt like the most genuine person Felix had seen in a long time. He never hid his opinion. He was afraid that the honesty he found so endearing could become brutal if he revealed his true feelings. If he knew it would change everything about their relationship. He would never get another moment of honest intimacy. He felt bad for lying, but he couldn’t risk it. Would he throw him out if he knew? No. He wasn’t going to lose his home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crew goes out for drinks and Felix and Jesse end up alone together

Every time they went into the Groundbreaker, Jesse made a point of getting drinks for the crew. It was always a night of joking and unwinding from whatever mission they had just finished. Whether it was a sublight job or a job from Dr. Welles they always needed a drink. 

Parvati was usually the first to retire for the night. She usually went to see Junlei before it got too late. That left the table free to discuss topics that made Parvati uncomfortable. She’s the only adult supervision they had. The next to leave was Max, usually due to a tag team annoyance effort by Felix and Ellie. Then Ellie usually had to drag Nyoka back to the ship before she gets alcohol poisoning.

That left Felix and Jesse alone.

Jesse looked into his glass.

“Do you remember when we painted flowers in my room?” he asked.

“Of course.” Felix replied, how could he forget?

“I remember you said something about being an orphan. I should have told you I was one too. I was just… Distracted.”

“Really? What happened to your parents?”

“Well, they lived in a farming commune in California. My dad died in a combine accident. My mother got sick. The only thing they left me was their debt. Fortunately I was smart enough to get scholarships and shit.”

“Scholarships?” Felix asked, tilting his head.

“Oh, right corporate hellscape. It’s when you get money because someone believes you have potential or some shit.”

“They just give you money?”

“Well you have to spend it on specific things though, like college. Mine was to send me to halcyon.”

“How’d that turn out.”

Jesse chuckled.

“Not great, though it did mean I got to meet you.” he sighed.

Felix blushed a bit harder than the alcohol already made him. 

“I- I mean I guess that's an upside.”

“Of course there’s the rest of the crew. I owe Parvati one for showing me which way is up. Max is a joy to irritate, Ellie and Nyoka are great, but there’s something about you.” Jesse said. 

“I mean. I don’t know. I’m not all that interesting.”

“I think it's your endless enthusiasm for life. You see a problem and you want to fix it. You don’t just give up.”

“I don’t know.” Felix said.

“Well I wouldn’t worry. You have a family now. If not by blood than by something more.”

Felix almost spilled his guts right then and there, but he stopped himself. Sure, Jesse was being nice to him, but that didn’t mean anything. Jesse was nice to everyone on the crew. It was clear that Jesse trusted him. He didn’t want to complicate their relationship, so he kept his mouth shut. 

“Yeah, family.”

“You’re not in the back bays anymore. We take care of each other. Got that?”

“Yeah, boss.”

“Good. Let’s get back to the ship. I need to pick up a new assignment tomorrow.” 

Jesse set a bit cartridge down on the table and they returned to the ground breaker. 

The only things that broke the silence of the ship was the hum of mechanical equipment and the occasional snore. Felix retreated to his bunk and fell asleep Imagining Jesse. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix returns to the back bays with Jesse for a job. it doesn't end well.

Jesse returned to the Unreliable around noon with a job from Junlei.

“I’m going to need your help with this one.” Jesse said.

“Sure, boss. Whats up?” Felix asked.

“I need to go down to the back bays to pick up a part and I was hoping with you along I’ll have less of a chance of being blown up.”   
“Oh.” The back bays weren’t the nicest of places. Far from it actually. Mac Redd ran the place with a less than benevolent fist. He didn’t want to imagine what he would try to do to the boss. What he’d already done to him. He was honestly a little embarrassed by the place.

“Is there a problem?”

“No. It’s just not a place I remember fondly.”

“I get it. If you’re not up to it, you don’t have to go.”

“No, I’ll go.” 

“Thanks. We’ll head out as soon as you’re ready.” Jesse said.

The elevator ride down to the bays was tense. Jesse leaned against the wall, examining his bolter. Felix sat more awkwardly with his arms crossed.

“Relax, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” Jesse said.

Felix nodded and stared at the ground. As the elevator slowly descended he was trapped reimaging all the things that Mac Redd and his gang had done to him. All the things he was afraid would happen to Jesse. All the beatings and… less savory occurrences. As the elevator hit the bottom he sighed. 

Jesse led the way out and he followed closely behind.

“Morning guys!” Jesse called with a wave.

The heads of a dozen gangsters looked back at him.

“What are you doing on our turf?” Mac Redd snarled.

“I’m just here to run a quick errand. I’ll try to stay out of your hair.”

“Hm. You look like a sublight bitch. Hagen got you doing her dirty work?”

“I run a few jobs, but this is for the chief. It’s to fix the radiators.”

“Ms. Junlei may be chief up top, but I’m the only Chief down here, and you ain’t one of us. And we- Hey Felix!” 

Mac Redd’s Attention turned to Felix along with all of his crew.

“Hey guys.” Felix said.

“Well Look at that, Felix is back. I was worried when you went running off, but it looks like you’ve been going up in the world.”

“Yeah, that's what I’m trying to do.”

“Well I’ve got news for you kid, once a rungleech, always a rungleech.”

Felix bit his tongue. He felt Jesse’s hand brush his in a way that felt deliberate.

“Too scared to bite back huh? Your new boyfriend got you on a tight leash?” Mac Redd mocked.

“Look, if I don’t get that part the whole ship is going to turn into one giant oven and we’re all gonna be baked alive. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get that part. If it means going through you so be it, But I’d like to handle this like civilized people.” 

“Ha! Look at this kid, trying to be  _ civilized.  _ You live by our rules now. If you want that part you’ve got to win it. You beat me in a straight fight, and you get that part. You lose, you stay down here with us.”

Felix shuddered as a few of the outlaws licked their lips.

“Fine.” Jesse said.

“No.” Felix objected

“What?”

“I’m not going to let you do that. I’ll fight him for you. Please.” Felix begged.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“And I don’t want to see you stuck down here. Please let me do this.”

“Fine. That alright Redd?”

“That works great. Now come on rungleech, try to take me on.” Mac Redd said, holding his arms out.

Felix ran forward and slammed an elbow into his Jaw. 

Redd staggered back a bit but regained his position and grappled with Felix.

Felix wriggled out and shook himself out before they crashed again. He tried a bunch of sharp jabs to Mac Redd's stomach but it was no use and he was in a headlock.

“Just liked the good old days. You always knew you’d end up back here.” Mac Redd taunted.

Felix struggled but he couldn’t get out.

“It’s no use trying to escape. You’ll always be my bitch.” He snarled as he grabbed Felix’s ass. 

A gun fired and Mac Redd's grip loosened. Felix Pushed him off and his body fell to the ground.

He turned and saw Jesse holding his Bolter. He looked furious.

All the outlaws had their weapons out on guard.

Jesse sighed and put his gun back to its holster.

“The next time one of you fuckers tries to touch Felix, I’ll put a blot of plasma through your sorry skull. I’m going to take that part now, and if any of you try to stop me, you’ll end up like your boss here.”

One of the outlaws ran forward and Jesse took him down in a flash.

“Anyone else?” he asked.

The outlaws shook their heads.

“Good.” Jesse replaced the bolter and walked through the bays. Felix stayed close behind as Jesse Retrieved the part and returned to the elevator.

He flipped the switch and settled against the wall.

“Sorry about that.” Jesse said.

“No complaints here. The guy was an ass.”

“I imagine that wasn’t a great place to grow up.”

“Oh it wasn’t.”

“How old were you when you ended up there.”

“Ten.”

“Jesus. I’m glad you got out.”

“Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a fun little project and turned into so much more. I'll try to update semi-regularly but no promises. Leave a comment if you want more of this story. Keep in mind that this is only my second project on this website.
> 
> Ciao,
> 
> DumbassEntity


End file.
